Should My Family Be Involved in My Recovery

A substance abuse disorder (SUD) affects not only the individual, but their entire family. It can be very destructive to family relationships, but during recovery, the family can play an instrumental role in the healing process. In fact, family involvement in your recovery can help the entire family to heal and move forward with a more positive family dynamic.

The Importance of Family in Addiction Recovery

Studies have shown that family involvement in the recovery process increases the likelihood of you seeking and successfully completing treatment. It also reduces relapse rates and helps you develop healthy coping skills.

Family involvement provides:

• Emotional support
• A greater understanding of substance abuse disorders by family members
• Accountability
• The ability to identify your triggers

Knowing that you have support essentially enhances the effectiveness of your treatment overall and helps you to move forward successfully.

How Your Family Can Help

Your family can help you during recovery in several ways.

Education

Your family should actively educate themselves about your SUD. The more they know, the more empathetic they can be. Rather than placing blame, they can understand what leads to substance use and addiction and provide appropriate support. They can also learn about relapse prevention so that they can support you after treatment.

Family Therapy

Often, poor family dynamics are a contributing factor to addiction. In family therapy, members can learn to better communicate and understand each other, and to understand what unhealthy roles they may have played during your active addiction. It’s important for you to understand these roles as well. Some of the unhealthy roles include:

• The Enabler: Someone in your family may be acting as your enabler, protecting you from the consequences of your substance abuse. They try to fix the negative impacts of your action, which prevents you from taking responsibility.
• The Hero: The hero in the family wants to keep things positive. They try to make it seem as though everything is okay, and that a problem doesn’t exist. They are the person everyone relies on to keep the family going as “normal.”
• The Scapegoat: The scapegoat tries to divert attention from you with their own bad behaviors. They distract your family from the substance abuse issue and may even participate in substance abuse themselves.
• The Mascot: The mascot is the charmer, distracting the family from the problem with humor. Their humor is sometimes directed at the substance abuser, creating more negative feelings.
• The Lost Child: The lost child is the sad person, isolating themselves and not talking about the problem. They try not to create any other problems for the family and stay out of the way, going it alone.

In family therapy, you can express to your family members what roles you feel that they play and how they can play more positive roles instead.

Support Groups

Your family members can attend support groups to learn from other families affected by addiction. Peers can be very effective in teaching each other how to be supportive of a loved one who is struggling. They can also learn to deal with any feelings of guilt or blame that they may be experiencing.

The Family’s Role After Treatment

After treatment, your family should be your support system. They can help you in several ways.

1.   Respect Your Needs

Your family members should ask you what you need from them and how much or how little you want them to be involved in your ongoing process of recovery.

2.   Encouragement

Family members should be positive, letting you know that they believe in you and that they are there for you when you need them.

3.   Hold You Accountable.

They should not gloss over your negative actions or the impacts of your substance abuse, holding you accountable while still providing encouragement.

4.   Be There When You Need to Talk

Your family and friends should be there for you, listen to you express yourself, and provide advice and support when you need it.

5.   Understand Your Triggers

People with substance abuse disorders generally have triggers that make them want to use. Your family needs to be aware of your triggers and help you to avoid them.

6.   Give You Space

Family members should avoid distracting you from recovery, and give you the space to do what you need to do.

7.   Participate in Ongoing Family Therapy

Even after treatment, family therapy is an effective way for you and your family to express yourselves, develop a greater understanding of each other, and strengthen your relationships. It also can give your family a deeper understanding of the support that you need after treatment.

In Closing

Your family can play a critical role in your recovery process. It’s important for you to express to them that you need support, and to explain how they can help you. With your family on your side, you can walk the path of recovery and live a healthy, fulfilling life, and—as a bonus—have better relationships with the people who love you.