Verify InsuranceIn this episode, we speak to our friend and co-worker, Ryan. Ryan shares the importance of sponsors, 12-step meetings, meeting patient’s where they are, and much more!
HEALING BEGINS WITH HOPE
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Transcript
Speaker 1:
Hey guys. Welcome back to A Reason to Live. This is your host, Aaron Reason, with my producer Michael Whitlock. We’re really excited to bring this next episode to you. We’re interviewing our buddy Ryan that works with us. He’s got a great message on what he does here. I just want to sincerely thank everybody for all the positive feedback that we’ve received. You guys have been amazing. We really appreciate everybody listening and tuning in. So we will get right to it and head into our next episode, episode three, with Ryan.
Speaker 2:
At the Indiana Community Addiction Network we offer the new standard in medication assisted treatment. So if you’re ready to put substance abuse behind you, we’re here to help. We are a local family-owned center who will create an individualized physician led care plan to help you reach sobriety. At ICAN, we treat your addiction based on your unique needs and have full addiction treatment programs. Get started on recovery today. Call ICAN NOW to speak to an advisor at 888-635-1470, or visit us at addictionsnetwork.com.
Speaker 1:
Hey guys, this is Aaron Reason. Welcome back to A Reason to Live. I am here with my producer, Michael Whitlock.
Speaker 3:
Hello friends.
Speaker 1:
And we got a special guest on the show today. Ryan. Ryan, can you say hi to the people?
Speaker 1:
What’s up guys?
Speaker 3:
I’m excited about this episode.
Speaker 1:
I am too. So Ryan is one of my closest friends here. He’s actually the reason that I got into this industry and into this field. Ryan’s been with me on this journey the entire way. He was the manager at a halfway house that I went through, and-
Speaker 3:
He’s been a game changer really, for this facility. Since he’s been here I’ve noticed some real positive changes in the way that we run things. And let’s go ahead and get straight into some of the backstory with you. You said you were already friends beforehand, so that adds a component of trust, right?
Speaker 1:
Right. Yeah. So Ryan and I, like I said, our journey, he’s been with me my entire journey and I’ve really followed in his footsteps. And that’s the beauty of the recovery program is, you see people, you see what they have and you want what they have and you have to do what they do. And so Ryan is one of those people that he loves to see others succeed. And I think that’s where we’re very similar in that area. We love to see the recovering addicts succeed. And he helped move me along in my recovery as when he left the three-quarter house that he was managing. I took that position. And then once Ryan, once he started here at this facility, you reached out to me and at the point that you reached out to me, this is what I talked about in the first episode about God putting the right people in your life at the right time.
And at that time in my life, I was kind of getting complacent in my recovery as the two-year mark and was at home watching Netflix, kind of hitting a meeting here and there, still sponsoring, but wasn’t really fully invested as I am now. And so sometimes you just need that push from somebody. And that’s what Ryan did for me. He pushed me and encouraged me, thought that I would be a good member of this team. And when somebody puts that kind of faith and trust in you, for me personally, that’s a big responsibility that I have. I have the responsibility to make his word about me look good.
Speaker 3:
I see all the time I see him with that combination of truth and love. He’s graceful in his approach to people, but he’s also very honest and doesn’t sugarcoat, but yet doesn’t make the people feel like crap when they’re hearing it. He’s trying to build them up and let them know what work is going to, honestly, it’s going to take this hard work, but it’s all going to be worth it in the end. And he’s a, I think, great example of someone who put the work in and now he’s doing some really amazing things.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
And Aaron, a lot of what we talked about before you came to work here at this facility was that leap of faith. And I think a lot of that is what we lack when we’re trying to figure out where to go from where we’re at, is that leap of faith.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. It was funny, I was praying about the decision, and I remember talking to Ryan for weeks on end, and I’m one of those guys that some people, God can just tap them on the shoulder and they’re like, “Oh, okay, I need to go do this.” For me it’s not like that. I have to be hit in the face with a two by four to get my attention. So that’s how it worked for me. But I did take that leap of faith and what a blessing it’s been. So what exactly do you do at our facility, Ryan? Give the listeners an idea of what it is you do here.
Speaker 1:
Well, my title here at this facility is the program coordinator. So what I do here is I interact with the clients on a regular basis. I facilitate groups. And the irony of some of those groups is like, I don’t know how to explain it, but coming from where I came from, being so angry and highly aggressive to teaching anger management, that’s like that aha moment for me. It was like, wow.
Speaker 3:
Pretty cool.
Speaker 1:
But yeah, people at home, they find it hilarious, but I have an opportunity to be a part of their beginning of their journey and to encourage them on direction and give them hope. As far as what some of the other things I do at the facility is I have an opportunity to spend time with them on the weekends outside of the facility. We get to go on group outings and actually fellowship and show them that recovery is fun. I don’t have to be messed up or have a buzz on to go out and enjoy going bowling or playing putt putt golf.
Speaker 3:
I’m sure there are a lot of people that think that fun time is over once they become sober. And I think that’s really cool that you do that you share this. Life doesn’t have to stop just because you’re not getting messed up, that there are ways that you can get together with your friends and have a good time and create new memories and actually probably remember them on top of that instead of the blur that was the past.
Speaker 1:
Find out what I did last night when someone tells me.
Speaker 1:
Well, I think it’s that fear of change. I think a lot of, I know for me personally in my addiction, I couldn’t even imagine what it would be going through life on a sober basis on a daily basis at that. And so that fear of change really kind of crippled me and paralyzed me in the sense that I didn’t want to try it because I didn’t know what it was going to be like. And man, I’ll tell you what, I have more fun. I laugh more now than I have ever laughed in my life because life is good.
Speaker 1:
And it’s genuine.
Speaker 1:
And it’s genuine. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
For me, I can remember years back and thinking that people didn’t know how to have fun if they wasn’t out drinking and drugging or they wasn’t cool if they wasn’t doing these things. I didn’t want to spend my time with people that wasn’t doing that. And I don’t know if it was the fear of change. I think it was the fact that I didn’t want to, I was still having fun for so many years, and a lot of the bad times I didn’t remember because I was messed up.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. And so you do more than just here, you sponsor people in the community. So explain what a sponsor is and what do they do and why should a person get a sponsor?
Speaker 1:
Well, I would highly suggest a sponsor because I didn’t know how to live life clean and sober. And the sponsor side of it was there to give me direction and also to hold me accountable. But some of the things that a sponsor does is, well, let’s start with what a sponsor doesn’t do, I guess would fit a little better. A sponsor is not a bank, they’re not a therapist, they’re not a counselor, they’re not a taxi.
Speaker 3:
It’s important to have boundaries.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. As a sponsor, you have to, boundaries are must. I didn’t have boundaries in active addiction. They were non-existent. But today I have those healthy boundaries that can keep me from putting myself in a position that I can’t say no because I’ve already opened these doors. They’re about what I’m willing to and not to accept, but a sponsor is there to just guide somebody. It’s a trusted friend, I believe is what the literature speaks on. It’s a trusted member of the fellowship, somebody that has what I want. I see a lot of myself in that person, but they’re there to just walk me through the steps because obviously I’ve never worked the steps. I didn’t know how or what I was supposed to do or what to expect or wouldn’t know if I was doing it right or wrong for that matter, because I thought everything was right and thought we knew it all in active addiction. But yeah, they’re just there for somebody to hold you accountable and walk you through the steps.
Speaker 3:
Should a person have a certain amount of sobriety time before they’re willing or able to become a sponsor? Or can anybody do it? I mean, I guess I’m not real familiar with the rules, but I want to be educated.
Speaker 1:
Well, years ago they used to just go out and somebody would work the steps with you and they would do it in a weekend. They would invite you to the house and you would work the steps in a weekend. And that person that just finished the steps would immediately go and try to find somebody else. Things have changed a little bit now.
Speaker 1:
Well, I know for me, I’ll just jump in here. I know for me, so when I took over for you at the Blackwell House, when I went there and I started managing that house, I felt like that was sponsoring, because I was like, all these guys were coming to me with their problems. And I remember my sponsor being like, “When are you going to start sponsoring guys?” And I was like, “What are you talking about, man? I’m running the three-quarter house. I’m sponsoring like 15 guys right now.” And he was like, “No.” And at that point, I’d only been about six months sober, but I’d completed the steps and he said, “Look, you need to get out and start sponsoring.” So for me, in my journey, I started early on, but when I saw the people that were successful and had long-term sobriety, they did a few things that I noticed. They had a good relationship with their higher power. They made meetings and they sponsored and gave back. And so that’s what I wanted. So that’s what I did.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, you’re going to want somebody that has at least worked the steps and has a sponsor. That’s important because if I’m going to my sponsor about things, well, where does my sponsor go if he’s got things going on? Because just because he sponsors doesn’t mean that life doesn’t happen. So you want somebody that’s at least worked the steps and has a sponsor and hopefully has more clean time than you do.
Speaker 3:
Well, and you had shared, we had a conversation once, I don’t know if you remember this or not, but I found this very interesting. You were talking about this basic lineage of sponsors and how it becomes this family of relations, you can trace back other people that have the same, I think you called it a grand sponsor. It’s like a grandfather. And it just shows how connected this world is, and there’s truly a family component of support and love. And I think that was really, I don’t know, just real inspirational to me to think that, you know, can really count on each other and point to each other. And I know that there’s some anonymity that goes with this world, but to be able to point back to someone as close and knows the same people and has experienced some of the same teachings, I thought that was really cool.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. So we’ll send it to our sponsors real quick and then we’ll get back into this.
Speaker 5:
Located in Anderson, Indiana, Bridges of Hope is a detox and residential treatment facility assisting those experiencing alcohol and substance abuse addiction. Our treatment philosophy is based on a comprehensive and integrated approach to addressing all issues related to substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health issues. Addiction treatment at Bridges of Hope can guide you safely through withdrawal from drugs and alcohol, and teach you important skills that help you achieve long-term recovery. Client care is our highest priority, and we offer our clients all-inclusive treatment services. Our ultimate goal is to identify the challenges, concerns, and problems related to substance use and mental health disorders to provide professional clinical treatment to all of our patients. For more information on our services, visit us at behoperehab.com or call 844-449-6392.
Speaker 1:
So Ryan, what drew you to work in this industry, in this field?
Speaker 1:
Well, I guess an honest answer would be, so my sponsor is really big in this in service. He started an organization that’s for addiction awareness, and I became part of that as well, and just to be able to give back, but I didn’t really feel that I was being of service, like the more one-on-one, it was bigger than that. And I just enjoyed being able to work with another addict or alcoholic one-on-one and be able to learn who they are and for them to learn a little bit about me. And it just seemed more fulfilling. I feel like that’s where my higher power was leading me to my actual purpose.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I agree with that. I’ve said this before to me going to a meeting and getting your sobriety token, I mean, that’s one of the greatest feelings, but I’ll tell you, the first time that I gave one to a sponsee, to me it just meant so much more because there’s such a beautiful thing about seeing somebody get it and the light come back on in their eyes and they start walking this path. To me, that’s such a rewarding feeling. Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1:
Absolutely. And there’s something about watching when someone else takes a token or a key tag or whatever they’re taking at the time, and seeing the newcomers in the room start to light up, or you’ll have that person taking that 24 hour when nobody else wanted to and they jumped in there and did it. Next thing you know, you’ve got four or five other ones being like, “Look, I want to make this commitment too.” There’s just something about that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. So what does meeting the patient where they are mean to you?
Speaker 1:
Man, I tell it means a lot to me. It means a lot of acceptance though, because some are sicker than others. Some come and they’re still, well, all of them just about are in that mindset that of the life they just came from. It doesn’t switch overnight. Some are going to have bad attitudes; some are going to have good attitudes and bad behaviors. So I mean, just accepting them for where they’re at and remembering that I used to be there too. It’s about acceptance.
Speaker 3:
It’s about grace.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely. It was given to me.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it really is about grace.
Speaker 3:
I think that’s really one of the most important things that I’ve seen since I’ve started here is the amount… I mean, when people, we have amazing staff. It’s one of the things that really drew me immediately. We have maintenance guy that will meet somebody in the dining room and just build them up. They’re not offering therapy, they’re just, “Hey, checking in on you. Yeah, you doing okay?” I can’t imagine that happens at every facility. And I am just in love with his heart. I’ve seen both of you guys do that. You come in on off time because you know somebody who’s struggling and you know you have a rapport with that person that just warms my heart. I’m not going to lie to you, it does something amazing, because I know that they are counting on you as individuals at that time. Maybe the last lifeline for them, the only thing that can keep them in this facility staying sober, you’re meeting them where they are at that time. And I think that’s amazing.
Speaker 1:
That’s two of my favorite parts of the day is coming in the morning when I come through that dining room to my office and there’s clients in there and it’s like, “Hey, what’s up guys?” And it just starts the day off. And then when I go to leave, they’re always in there and it’s like, “Hey, I’ll see you guys in the morning.” And you just hear them all yelling, “See you Ryan,” that’s a good feeling.
Speaker 3:
Having employees here that are truly in recovery, but yet at that successful stage where they’ve gone about their life, I think is an integral part of what we do because it gives people hope that they too can get there. If we just had a bunch of people that have never experienced addiction, we’re not giving them any examples of hope that they can actually get there. And I think they’re like, “Oh, wow, your role models and we can do this too.” So I think that’s a huge part of this.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, definitely. I mean, they need to see people like us be successful in this field. And that’s where I’m at with it, is my heart is in this place. And you’re right. I mean, the team that we have here, I have never worked with a better group of people in my entire life. The team here is everybody, like you said. I mean, from the higher ups to the lower up, everybody is on the same page when it comes to what we’re trying to do and what we’re trying to create and the environment that we’re trying to create. And the clients see that. They’re like, “Man, this place is so much different than these other place. It’s amazing here.” And so yeah, meeting them where they’re at, and just like you said, understanding, I have to remember where I came from, where I was at my mindset in my first 30 days and go back to that place. And once I do that, you’re right. The extending of grace to me is a lot easier if I keep that in the forefront of my mind working with the clients.
Speaker 1:
And I think that they see, there’s no food chain here as far as the staff goes at this facility. There’s no food chain. They can come to any one of us at any given time and get something off their chest or get a little guidance or direction on something. And that’s amazing.
Speaker 3:
My role here is not client based, it’s more a policy procedure, that kind of stuff. I keep my door open all the time, and I love when people stop by to show me a painting that they’re working on or tell me a success story or ask my advice on something. I want to be there for anybody who needs it in that moment. It’s one of the things that charges my batteries.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
There’s something really beautiful in being able to help others. And I’ve said this in the beginning of my journey, in the beginning of my journey, I think that my mind, I was still kind of selfish and self-centered in the fact that I just wanted peace for myself. That’s really all I wanted. But my sponsor said this to me one day. We just left a meeting and he said, “Everybody’s trying to figure out the secret to life. And I really think I’ve figured it out.” And I always joked that he must have seen this on a bumper sticker or something, because he’s not the smartest guy in the world. He said, “The secret to life is serving others.” And I really thought about that, and that’s really become the theme of my recovery, is like he’s right and serving others and helping others. You begin to discover your purpose and what this life is truly about, in my opinion. So that’s helped me tremendously in my recovery.
Speaker 3:
Well, and where would any of us be with addiction, sobriety, or any other if we didn’t have people that helped us sometimes. Right?
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 3:
And so we got to give back,
Speaker 1:
For sure. Yeah. And so the next question, you are a proponent of participating in ongoing 12 step meetings. Why are these such a vital part of the success for someone going through recovery? What do you think the importance of the meetings is?
Speaker 1:
Well, they say the opposite of addiction is connection. And it’s not just a connection with my higher power. It’s a connection with like-minded people. So going to these meetings and building these relationships keeps me connected to like-minded people.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
And it gives me hope. There’s a saying, it’s just for today, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that path, I have nothing to fear. And that’s where my associations come from. That’s where all my friends are in recovery, or friends of friends that are in recovery. that’s where my life is today. Through working the steps, my life has become useful. It has purpose today. And part of that purpose is to carry that message that an addict, any addict can lose the desire to use and find a new way of life. And that’s where I get it.
Speaker 1:
Something cool happened the other day. I was cleaning out my house and taking some stuff out to my garage. And in one of my totes, I actually found the notebook I had in rehab when I was through rehab. And I had all these notes. And something I had heard early on was this. The day I stopped learning from a newcomer, I become one.
Speaker 1:
Damn.
Speaker 1:
And I looked at that and I was like, “Wow. Gosh, man, that is so true.”
Speaker 3:
That’s pretty cool.
Speaker 1:
And I think that, I know for me personally, I don’t ever want to get on that pedestal where I think I’m better than. It’s about humility and understanding. I can learn something from anybody. The newcomers, they’re the most important people in the rooms and what they see from us, we can give them the example, but we can learn from them too. And I don’t ever want to lose sight of that.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes we have an opportunity to teach them as the newcomers what to do, but they teach us what not to do. I can learn from the mistakes they made, whether the first thing they usually say is, “Oh, it was a woman.” Or, “I quit going to meetings,” or, “Man, it was a relationship,” so to speak.
Speaker 1:
It’s a relationship always.
Speaker 1:
Or, “I quit going to meetings. I quit calling my sponsor, I quit doing these things.” So it just puts that right back into my mind. If my ego starts to push that out, that I don’t need to do these things. I learn from a newcomer that, “Hey, this is what happened to them,” puts it right back in my mind. I need to do these things.
Speaker 1:
It’s a healthy reminder that it’s still bad out there and my addiction’s still waiting for me. And I could easily be that person sitting in that chair. And I can’t ever lose sight of that.
Speaker 3:
Oh, well, yeah, it’s always better to learn from someone else’s wisdom than from our own failures.
Speaker 1:
And you said it’s still bad out there. I mean, truth of the matter is, it’s worse out there now. When people are out there doing the most, they’re playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun.
Speaker 3:
Yeah. It’s scary.
Speaker 1:
I mean, I started out my drug of choice, and I’ve made this pretty clear, it is opiates and specifically heroin. And it’s always funny to me that when people come in here, they’re like, “Oh, I was doing heroin. Well, no, you weren’t. You were doing fentanyl,” because there is no heroin anymore.
Speaker 3:
Oh, I can tell you also along those, that same line, how many times we see drug screens where someone thinks they were taking, let’s say Xanax or something, and they’re like, they pop positive for fentanyl. “I didn’t even know I was taking that.” You can’t trust anything that’s out there. People are putting some nasty stuff out there, and it’s a risky game,
Speaker 1:
And it’s going in. It’s not just specifically the heroin field anymore. It’s gone over into all drugs. It doesn’t matter what drug you’re doing.
Speaker 3:
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:
The dealers know how bad this stuff is and how quick it’ll hook somebody. And so why wouldn’t they put it in absolutely everything that they sell because they want that customer. So they’re going to push it. They’re going to keep killing people and getting these kids strung out on drugs like this. So to me my goal is the people in recovery. That’s what we do is we create the ripple and the ripple creates the wave and the wave can create a tsunami. That’s the mindset that I keep. And that’s the force that we have to be in the recovery scene to let addicts know there’s a way out. And we don’t have to be slaves to this. We really don’t. We don’t ever have to go back to that lifestyle.
Speaker 1:
And you said that they’re putting it in everything and that they’re going to keep killing people. And there’s a saying that I absolutely do not like, but it’s so true, and it’s that some got to die so others can live. And that being that I can use that death as a positive force to drive me, and I can make that death… I can honor it by carrying the message. I can use it to push me back out, or I can use it to save my life as well.
Speaker 3:
And so along those lines, we have something here. I don’t know at other facilities if they have this, but it’s very moving and I’m sure it’s impactful to anybody that’s coming in for services that we have memory stones outside of some of our past patients who didn’t make it. And it’s got their name and dates on there. It’s so sobering.
Speaker 1:
It is.
Speaker 3:
To walk in and see people that struggle with addiction just didn’t make it. And I would think that that’d be very impactful if you walked in these doors for the first time and you saw not only somebody had been here previously, but maybe even a name you knew. I know people have been like, “Oh, I used to hang with that guy or that girl.” Wow.
Speaker 1:
And some of those names out there did really, really well and moved on to aftercare, which is really important, taking the next steps. But they did really well. And we just did a group the other day where we were talking about sometimes my feelings might not, just because I feel like I’m not doing well doesn’t mean that I’m not, or sometimes I might be feeling like I’m doing really well when I’m not. It’s just part of the process of being self-aware of things. But some of those people have done really well, and their egos get in the way.
Speaker 1:
If you quit doing what you did to get to the place that you are a slip is well on its way. And I think like we talked about meeting clients where they are, and it’s about acceptance. That’s my personal recovery. It’s about acceptance. It’s about acceptance that I’m powerless and I can’t control this thing and I have to do this. So I understand that. I understand meetings are going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life. I got to keep helping others. I got to keep carrying this message because it was life or death for me. It wasn’t, “Oh, I might go back to jail.” That was irrelevant. I was going to die regardless of how it happened. I knew that was the fate that I was facing because so many people around me served that fate.
And I think that when my brother overdosed, I think that was when it really hit me. This can hit anybody. It was such a terrible feeling. But I agree. And the people here at work are just so invested. We went to a funeral not too long ago, and there was five or six of us that went to a funeral. We are very empathetic and we understand this. And it’s not just about we reach out to the clients even after they’re here because we want to see that success.
Speaker 3:
So it’s about time to wrap up this episode. It’s been an amazing episode. I thought of one final question because of you specifically. I think one of your skill sets among the many things that you’re good at is something we call AMA blocking. Could you tell me what AMA blocking is real quick?
Speaker 1:
AMA blocking it is against medical advice. So sometimes when someone comes to the facility or any treatment facility, when they’ve been here somewhere between five and 10 days through the detox process, and they just don’t want to be here anymore. Sometimes they get a craving that’s so strong, they just want to leave and go and use, or their egos or their addictions talking to them and telling them that they don’t need this anymore. They’re better now. They know what they need to do.
And having been in recovery for a little bit of time now, I know that I used to hear those same voices. And so we just try to encourage them to stay, whether it’s reminding them what actually brought them here or the risks of leaving, because personally, I don’t care what the reason is that you come to treatment. The fact of the matter is you’re here, but there’s different reasons why people come for their kids or for their courts, or they just know that they need help, and their ego and their addiction tells them that they don’t need it anymore. They’ve got it. Or there’s bigger problems that they need to take care of out there financially, or the reasons and excuses are endless sometimes, but we’re just trying to encourage them to stay.
Speaker 3:
And they’re through. Some of them are through their detoxing, and they’re starting to feel good again.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 3:
And they’re like, “Oh, I got this,” and…
Speaker 1:
I got this.
Speaker 3:
But they’re really at the beginning of the journey. They still have a lot of work to do. And so I think that the work you do is, again, meeting them where they are. It’s just in a different stage in their journey here, and it’s one of the places where you excel. I appreciate your work in blocking AMAs, leading meetings, and we really thank you for being a guest on today.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 3:
It’s been absolutely insightful, educational, and I really enjoy working with you.
Speaker 1:
Well, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, thanks a lot, Ryan. I’m glad that God put you in my life, man. You’re a good friend. Thanks for coming on, helping us out.
Hey, thanks again for listening, guys. That’ll wrap it up for episode three.
Speaker 3:
What a great episode, right?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that was really good. I really enjoyed that.
Speaker 3:
I love that guy. Man, that guy is great, isn’t he?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, he’s awesome. We do want to just thank our sponsors real quick. Thanks for Bridges of Hope and Indiana Community Addiction Network for sponsoring us. And don’t forget to tell your friends, share this on your favorite platform. We are currently on Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, Overcast.fm, and Anchor. So we really appreciate you guys tuning in and share, share, share.
Speaker 3:
Have a great day.